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revised June 03, 2011

Arrow BulletP.A.R.E.N.T.I.N.G. - Strategies for Building Self-Esteem in Your Children

Positive Parenting

  • You can help your children learn how to enjoy good times and cope with their down times in healthy ways. You are your child's most important role model.
  • Tips on Positive Parenting
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Accepting Feelings

  • Children who have their feelings accepted and who receive comfort and support to express them, are more able to handle unhappy times and let them go.
  • Tips on Accepting Feelings
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  • Remember the saying "treat others in a way that you yourself want to be treated". Showing respect builds trust and respect.
  • Tips on Respect
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  • All people feel better and do better when they feel supported by those close to them.
  • Encouragement helps build self-confidence and the desire to participate fully in life.
  • It's easy to be encouraging when children are helpful or doing well.
  • They also need encouragement during periods between accomplishments.
  • Even when they make mistakes or misbehave, encouragement helps them learn from the situation and grow.
  • A misbehaving child is often a discouraged child. Finding encouraging words when your child is going through difficult times can do much to heal a bruised self-esteem:
    • You do a good job in...
    • Let's do this together.
    • That didn't work. What else can you try?
  • Tips on Being an Encouraging Parent
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Needs - Parents Have Them Too

  • Parenting is a most important role and demanding too - but you're a person first.
  • To build your child's self-esteem, it's important to feel good about yourself and let go of certain demands - like perfection! This makes you a positive role model for your child too.
  • Tips on Meeting Your Needs Too
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Talking... Listening...

  • To build self-esteem, it's actually the listening that comes first - this may be one of the reasons we all have two ears and only one mouth!
  • However, the words you choose when you speak to your child also leave lasting impressions.
  • Tips on Talking... Listening...
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  • Independence is tied to trust.
  • It requires a combination of courage to let your children try new things, and faith that you have taught your values well - it's a frightening, but rewarding process.
  • Just like adults, children need opportunities to "stretch" themselves and figure out their own values and beliefs. Some of those beliefs will be different from yours.
  • Gradually children develop the skills necessary for making decisions that are wise for them.
  • Tips on Promoting Independence
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  • Being a nurturing parent is not giving your children everything they want, or protecting them from experiencing difficulties in life. Pampering and over-protection lead to unhealthy self-esteem.
  • Setting limits that are appropriate to your child's age and development gives him a sense of security and personal safety.
  • Nurturing includes love, understanding, encouragement and respect. Parents nurture through encouraging words, caring actions, and loving touch - hugs, cuddles, back rubs and foot massages.
  • 6 Nurturing Messages to Give Your Children
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G Here's What You Get

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Revised: June 03, 2011


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